Bittersweet

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I lost a little one I dearly wanted. Then I was told that I could get Cancer from this. If this pregnancy were a Molar pregnancy it could give me "treatable" cancer. Treatable is a good word to put before a word like Cancer. But still, it's CANCER. That would be a tough journey to fore go if I had too. I have prayed every night for God to give me the strength, courage and hope needed for all of this.

I got a call from my OB's Nurse today. She informed me that the pregnancy was not a Molar Pregnancy. This is bittersweet news. I have been so worried about all these health issues that could be caused by a Molar Pregnancy. This means that chance of Cancer has dropped significantly. It was good to get one chip off the shoulder.

We have overcome one hurtle in many to come from this. Please continue to pray for us as we go through this Journey. I will try to post as often as I can. I go back to work On Wednesday so my life will get back into routine soon. I hope this routine will help with our healing process.

So Blessed

A lot has happened in just a few weeks. I am feeling much better now. Enough to share my story with you all.


On my first ultrasound on 12/24/09 my OB noticed that I had what he called a vanishing twin. The 2nd fetus was only measuring 6weeks. I was supposed to be @12weeks. The doctor sent me to radiology in 2weeks on 1/7/10(making me supposedly about 13 or so weeks). I knew then that it just didn't seem right. I did the math over and over in my head. And could not come up with me being only 6weeks for the other little one. Those 2weeks were an awful wait.


That ultrasound was the most nerve wracking ultrasound I have ever done. The ultrasound tech would not show me the screen but she took a TON of pictures. She then had to go get the radiologists opinion. I did glance over at the ultrasound screen to see CHECK FOR VIABILITY AND DUE DATE. That took forever. She then later came in and said I needed to go see my OB right away for the results. I just knew something wasn't right, but I didn't want to freak out, I was trying to be optimistic. Once in the OB office, in the same building as radiology, it took forever again to get the OB in to talk to me. I was already fighting back tears. He sat and explained everything. Here is a summary of what I caught. I was bawling towards the end so I wasn't exactly paying attention then.

The fetus is not developing the way it should. No heartbeat anymore. According to the radiologist there are clusters of cysts on the placenta that look harmful to my body. The OB called it a Mole. But he said normally they don't have a fetus in there. He said, If I don't remove it it can cause a lot of harm to me (maybe even cancer) and I will lose the baby eventually around 12-18weeks. So the next day I went in for a D&C. Here are a few helpful links that explain what exactly was going on. http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/complications/molar-pregnancy.aspx and this second link will show why we needed to do a D&C right away. http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/complications/choriocarcinoma.aspx

January 8th 2010 will always be a day I don't want to forget but never want to relive again. I have been so blessed to have family and friends to help me through this journey. I appreciate everyone of them. John and I both thank you during this hard time. In the mean time we will need more prayers our way that I have NOT gotten any form of cancer from this experience. Thank You once again. LOVE YOU ALL